Speedgroup 17: WTFAvengers, I can quit anytime

Top Left
Oh no poor Hulk
I’ve always preferred the “little kid throwing a tantrum” version of the Hulk to the “angry psychpoath” version. The former is great because it’s easy to sympathize with and extremely terrifying. A creature that’s a strong as Superman with the poor impulse control of a kindergartener? RUN.

Top Right
“And another thing Bruce, you need to put the Hulk on a diet. Seriously.”

“I’m sorry! It just, it just keeps screaming for food and I can’t-“

“Not for ethical reasons, God dammit Bruce, you are the only person on earth that feels bad about eating Nazis that were stockpiling nukes in a secret arctic fortress. Go tell freaking Captain America herself and she’ll pat you on the back and say ‘Atta boy!’ No, you need to cut it out because it’s gross as hell. You don’t know where those Nazis have been, and they’re like, full of Nazi poop.”

“Nazi poop.”

“Yeah, Nazi poop, worse than regular poop.”

“Hulk really only goes for the hearts, and I did wash up afterwards.”

“Well you missed a couple spots. Wait a sec, turn here, we want this door. I think they stowed my limbs in here.”

“Can you, uh, open the door? My hands are full.”

“Full of fine Stark ass, that is.” Tony continued on while Bruce groaned. “People would pay to do what you’re currently doing. Hold on, let me try to get the door handle with my nubbin.”

“Your nubbin. Wow.”

“Shut your Nazi poop filled mouth. We are superheroes and will not be foiled by a doorknob!”

“I’m not really a superhero. Pretty sure I’d be kicked off the Justice League for my eating habits.” Bruce paused and tried to fumble with the door knob, a difficult job to do while holding a squirming billionaire. “Actually I’m pretty sure I’d be a villain. Ooof. I would have to fight Superman.”

“Ugh. I can practically feel your nerd boner for Superman. Batman’s way cooler anyways. Do you have the damn door yet?”

“Of course you would think that, and no”

Without warning the doors pulled open, and they both stumbled into the room. A deep laugh reverberated around them as the Red Skull stepped forwards. He leered at them as he spoke.

“This is what SHIELD sends against me? One and a half men in their underwear?”

“We are professionals, thank you very much.” Tony waved his nubbin at him.

Bottom Left
The Asgardians/Aesir? All Neanderthals. Neanderthals with super advanced technology that left for space and made a ton of even more crazy advanced technology.

Originally they had super intelligent AIs but, as tends to happen in the WTFavengers universe, those decided to go somewhere else, leaving the Aesir to fend for themselves. Most species don’t survive this, but they did because they’re badass. They don’t really know how their tech works and Thor came to Earth to try to figure out how humans were doing seemingly magical things with science. He gets banished for that and then finds Mjolnir, an Aesir warhammer that confers great power to whomever it allows to wield it.

I finally did this because I wanted to draw beards after seeing the Hobbit.

Bottom Middle
Tony Stark is 50% prosthetics! Bruce Banner sometimes eats people! Together, they do science!

Bottom Right
“GIVE ME BACK MY SCARF!”

Captain Marvel fights a Brood spawn. The original brood were alien ripoffs that could infect people with their eggs, which would turn them into more Brood with any superpowers the host had.

For the WTFavengers universe, super advanced species tend to punch a hole in the universe and leave once they reach a certain level of intellect. Nobody knows why, maybe they figure out something we don’t know. It’s a convenient way to keep all tech levels pretty close between species, otherwise the earth would get steamrolled in an alien invasion. Even with a hulk.

However, this means that there’s a sort of ecological niche left right at the top, because nothing stays there long. The Brood exploit this, purposefully lobotomizing themselves to stay just below that level. They’re smart with designing things, but tactical nitwits. Not that it matters much because they’re so powerful.

Brood queens land on planets, consume and reverse engineer its inhabitants, and then produce Brood spawn, which are Frankenstein-esque combinations of whatever the queen got her tentacles on. This means they’re already adapted to the planet. The more the queen analyzes the more powerful the spawn.

The first thing the Brood queen takes when she lands on Earth is an aircraft carrier.

Yippee.

A few notes, the mouths are engine inlets and normally the teeth are held flat and out of the way of the airflow, the tongue is a modified intake ramp, and this Brood spawn is the result of sharks, shrimp, dolphins, and F-18s.

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Now that I'm looking at all these sketches, it's pretty clear the WTFavengers are not very competent at superheroing. Hmmm. They're good practice for drawing people though, which I need to do more often.